Hard Times for Daffy III: Daffy on the Couch
by WileE2005
Summary: Part 3 in my "Hard Times for Daffy" saga. In this one, Daffy Duck goes into therapy as the title implies, as he continues living with Bugs Bunny and Wile E. Coyote as they struggle in today's modern world.
1. Chapter 1: Daffy Needs Help

HARD TIME FOR DAFFY III:

DAFFY ON THE COUCH

By Wile_E2005

DISCLAIMER: The Looney Tunes, Hanna-Barbera, D.C. Comics, Cartoon Network and Peanuts properties are all owned by Warner Bros. Entertainment. Pixar is owned by The Walt Disney Company. This is no way affiliated with those companies.

Chapter One: Daffy Needs Help

It seemed like a typical morning. The sun was rising, and it was a beautiful morning. Wile E. Coyote had gotten up, and pulled on his bathrobe and headed over to the kitchen. When he got in, he was shocked to see…

Daffy Duck was wearing the tablecloth around him like a robe and had a bowl over his head. He announced, "I am the new king of cartoons! My first order of business is off with Pixar's heads!" He chuckled in an insane manner.

"Daffy!" Wile E. scolded. "What are you doing?"

"Oops…" Daffy was caught. "Uh, I auditioned for a small role in a play. I was, um, just rehearsing!"

The coyote laughed and said, "Nice try. I heard you saying 'off with Pixar's heads.'"

Daffy frowned and said, "Look, this isn't going anywhere." He threw off the tablecloth and set down the bowl. "I'm just still sick of that 'Ratatouille.' I can't believe you fell asleep watching it at that party you went to!"

"Well at least I wasn't ranting about it angrily!" Wile E. insisted. "I was drunk from champagne, and had a hangover as a result. And I must admit, I was embarrassed having fallen asleep drunk watching it."

Now Bugs Bunny woke up. He came into the kitchen scratching his side. "Eh, what's up duck?"

"Nothing," Daffy quickly said. "Does anybody want breakfast? I'll make it since I already got the stuff out!"

…

Later that day, Daffy was at it again. He was punching on Wile E. Coyote's punching bag that had the Road Runner painted on it, but Daffy taped a picture of Remy from "Ratatouille" onto it. He was grunting and shuffling. Once again, the coyote entered and was surprised.

"Let me guess… you're going to have a boxing fight against that Remy character, right?" Wile E. asked.

"Maybe," Daffy said. "Stupid Pixar! They get all the popularity and we get left in the shadows!" He took a few more punches.

The coyote tore the Remy picture off the punching bag. "Listen, Daffy," he began. "Something is starting to seem a little different here."

"Oh, I'm fine." Daffy said. "I'm completely normal. Nothing is wrong with me at all!" Then he walked back into the den, but he had his feet shuffling like a wind-up toy as he moved.

…

That night, Wile E. Coyote was sleeping in his room. But he could hear pounding coming from the basement. He went downstairs, along with Bugs Bunny, and saw the duck building some kind of thing out of wood.

"What is THAT?" Bugs asked.

Daffy explained, "It's going to be a Trojan horse that we can all pile into, and take it over to Cartoon Network and attack!"

"It's 3:30 in the morning," Wile E. yawned. "That thing is not very safe. Take it apart."

"Fine." Daffy said. He pulled out a plank from the bottom, and the would-be Trojan horse collapsed. It covered the threesome in wood debris.

"Something is seriously wrong here…" the coyote moaned from underneath the woodpile.

…

That morning, Daffy Duck was sitting on the couch with a blank look. Bugs Bunny and Wile E. Coyote walked up to him. "Eh, Daffy, I think we should talk." Bugs began.

"What's to talk about?" Daffy asked in a monotone voice.

The coyote cleared his throat and said, "We think you should go into therapy. You've been acting very strange lately."

Daffy chimed in. "Who's acting strange? I'M not strange!"

"It's probably for the best," Wile E. said. "That Trojan horse you were trying to build had me worried. You're not acting like your usual self."

"But I don't NEED therapy!" Daffy insisted. "It's too expensive. Plus, it breaks up families and friends, turns friends into enemies, and turns the public against all of us!"

…

Five minutes later, Bugs and Wile E. were dragging Daffy to the car. Daffy screamed, "NO! NO! I don't wanna see a psychiatrist! I don't WANT therapy! You can't make me go!"

They buckled Daffy Duck into the backseat of Wile E's old Plymouth Road Runner car. "AAAAUGH! Leggo! Leggo! It's too tight! This is torture! Put me down!" Daffy yelled.

Then they drove downtown. Daffy was screaming "NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!" throughout the ride.

At one point, it drove the coyote and rabbit bananas. They pulled over to the side, and Bugs said harshly to Daffy, "Stop saying that! It's making me go nuts!"

"You want to become normal again, don't you?" Wile E. asked.

Daffy gulped and meekly said, "Yes." But once they were back on the road, Daffy continued hollering "NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!" Bugs sighed in annoyance.


	2. Chapter 2: The Psychiatrist

Chapter Two: The Psychiatrist

Chapter Two: The Psychiatrist

At the Bleeding Hearts Medical Center, Bugs and Wile E. took Daffy up to the man at the counter. Daffy had a grim look on his face.

"This poor fellow needs a psychiatrist," the coyote explained. "He's not himself lately."

The man studied hard. "Hmm… this is serious. You three go sit in the waiting room and I'll go check for available doctors that could help your little friend here."

…

After waiting 43 minutes, the man reentered with a nice-looking lady in a dark magenta suit and a purple skirt. He introduced the woman, "OK, I found a good psychiatrist that might be able to help. Daffy Duck, meet Dr. Isobel C. Spots."

"It's a pleasure to be working with a well-known former cartoon star," Isobel said.

"Excuse me?" Daffy asked. "FORMER cartoon star?! I prefer 'struggling cartoon star!' I've still got what it takes."

Dr. Spots laughed. "I think I'll have a lot to discuss with you."

So she led the three 'toons into her office. It had a desk, a big couch for the patient, a bunch of books on a shelf and a punching bag in one corner. Dr. Spots began, "I can meet with your duck for an hour every Monday and Friday."

"How much will it cost?" Wile E. asked.

The psychiatrist smiled and said, "I can go as low as 20 an hour."

"That will be fine," Wile E. said.

…

A few minutes later, Bugs and Wile E. left, and Daffy was alone with Dr. I.C. Spots. She got out her clipboard and began the session. "Daffy, therapy is nothing to be ashamed about. Many people need therapy once in a while."

"OK." Daffy asked. He then noticed the books on the shelves. "That's a lot of books. Have you read all of them?"

Isobel smiled and said, "I've read most of them. You have to read a lot of books like those in order to be a psychiatrist."

"Ah. Shall I start from the top?" Daffy said.

"Go ahead."

Daffy cleared his throat. "OK, doctor. Picture this. At the beginning of this decade, I was a very popular and well-liked cartoon star. Many of my films were on video, and were still being rerun on TV. They were still making merchandise of me. They sold like hotcakes! I even appeared in a new made-for-video movie, 'Tweety's High-Flying Adventure!' OK, even though it was a musical, I still enjoyed working for it."

"Did you have any anxiety at the time?" Dr. Spots asked.

"Yes," Daffy said, "I was still angry at Bugs Bunny for always hogging the spotlight. Plus, ABC and the WB Network stopped airing my cartoons, but no matter, since Cartoon Network was still showing them."

Isobel said, "Wile E. told me you have sort of a grudge against Pixar Animation Studios…"

Daffy interrupted, "I didn't get to that yet! But I will. Anyways, where was I? Oh, yeah. Starting in 2002, a very mean man named Sander Schwartz stepped up as president of Warner Bros. Animation, and that's when things began to go downhill. He made us star in 'Baby Looney Tunes,' which was nothing but a 'Muppet Babies' rip-off. What they did was use a 'baby' machine that made copies of us as tykes. That's how they did those other 'kid versions of classic cartoon character' shows back in the 80s and 90s."

"Who was this Sander Schwartz guy?" Isobel asked.

"He was the worst president of Termite Terrace ever to run the studio!" Daffy complained. "Not only did he mess us up, but he also messed up Scooby-Doo and Tom and Jerry, and he also shifted the company to focus more on action cartoons!"

Dr. Spots noted, "You sound angry."

"I am NOT angry!" Daffy insisted. "Just suppressing bad memories I will tell you about later. And if that wasn't enough, also in 2002, Chuck Jones died. Bugs and Wile E. and the rest of the Looney Tunes and I went into a long three-month depression and were filled with grief and sadness due to the passing. But then we got over it. Then the following year, things started to look up a bit again. I starred in a new show, 'Duck Dodgers,' based off my timeless classic short! It was my biggest role in a TV show. It ran for two seasons on Cartoon Network before being canceled due to a reason I will describe later. And if that wasn't enough, a new guy came into the studio named Larry Doyle, whom offered to produce some new Warner Bros. cartoons with Sander Schwartz, starring us Looney Tunes, and we were going to star in a big-budget movie!"

"Would that happen to be 'Looney Tunes: Back in Action?'" Isobel said.

"Yes!" Daffy answered. "Only in pre-production, they called it the Untitled Looney Tunes Project. Doyle wrote what might've been my greatest performance ever! And you know what? I was practically the star! OK, maybe the co-star. And the script would've been perfect, if it weren't for the constant pop-culture references and the cheesy ACME Chairman. Warner Bros. was heavily promoting it, though Cartoon Network did nothing to help promote the film. Instead they began reducing the airtime of my classics. And this was a bad time they chose to release and make the film, what with Pixar and DreamWorks starting to dominate the animation market."

"I hear you mentioning Pixar again." Isobel interrupted.

"Right! And I'll tell you why," Daffy said. "The film was released to the public in November 2003, and things would look up. Unfortunately, the movie was a FLOP! It sank to the bottom of the barrel in box-office performance, faced stiff competition from that Will Ferrell Christmas movie and that one about the hideous Cat in the Hat, and got mixed reviews from the critics. And as if that weren't bad enough, they only made one new short with me in it. A Duck Dodgers short about me cloning myself. It didn't look very professional or well-made. And it made me look bad. Then again, NONE of the shorts that Schwartz and Doyle made at that time made us look good! Then our movie was nominated for an Annie Award, which was designed for animation. We never have gotten an Annie before, and this was to be our first time. The Annie society invited Bugs and I to come to the awards. We got there, and were we nervous! Unfortunately, we LOST! To a stupid computer-animated Pixar talking-animal movie called 'Finding Nemo!' I practically exploded! I tore up my seat. I tried to steal the trophy. I even tried to break the fish tank that the fish were in! The guards took me away, and sent me to prison for a month."

Dr. Spots said, "I am hearing your anger again."

"I'm GLAD you hear my anger!" Daffy snapped. He went over to the punching bad, which looked like a clown. Daffy imagined it looking like Marlin from "Finding Nemo" and punched it a few times as he spoke. "I'm angry because that STUPID Pixar, and their STUPID Marlin and his lesbian friend, and that STUPID film's overrated popularity and STUPID perfect animation, and that STUPID CGI talking animal trend, greatly contributed to my downfall in popularity!" He panted heavily.

Isobel smiled. "Now we're getting somewhere," she said as she wrote something down on her clipboard.

"Whew… I feel good getting that out," Daffy said. "Shall I tell you a bit more?"

"Go right ahead," Isobel said.

"OK, so anyways, here's where the bad stuff began," Daffy continued. "Production on the new Looney Tunes shorts ceased due to poor performance of the Back in Action movie. Then in October 2004, Cartoon Network showed their very last Looney Tunes line-up. The last cartoon they showed ME in was one of my worst performances, in 'Speedy Ghost to Town.' It was one of those cartoons where I was forced to pair up with that stupid rodent, Speedy Gonzales! Just thinking about those cartoons gives me goosebumps! But Bugs had it easy. HIS last cartoon they showed was that 'Bewitched Bunny.'"

"Oh, I can see why," Isobel said. "That ending with him going off with the girl rabbit wanted kids to thing that Bugs Bunny had a happy ending." She giggled.

"Right!" Daffy agreed. "Stupid Cartoon Network. Then they pulled us from their schedule, and replaced us with that stupid 1990s cartoon 'Dexter's Laboratory!'" He socked the punching bag again. My friend Bugs Bunny also got kicked out of his mansion, and the Kids Next Door moved in! He was tossed out in the street! Then they canceled 'Duck Dodgers' as well. As of this time, the Looney Tunes would most likely never be popular again. The public didn't seem to like them anymore, and wanted to prefer computer-animated movies, or anime, or action cartoons! It was awful." He slumped down in his seat and sighed. "I've got lots of information about my current state for you."

"I can see that," Dr. Spots said. "Well, that wraps things up for now. The session's over."

"ALREADY?!" Daffy was surprised. "Time went by so fast!"

"Well, we can talk again on Friday." Isobel smiled. "I think it's going to be great working with you, Mr. Duck."

Daffy blushed. "Aw, shucks!"


	3. Chapter 3: Wile E's Prestidigitation

Chapter Three: Daffy's Reformation Begins

Chapter Three: Wile E's Prestidigitation

Daffy had just taken the bus home from the Bleeding Hearts Medical Center. He was feeling good, which was a first for him for the past few months. "Ah… I feel great!" the duck proclaimed. "You were right, Wile E. Therapy IS good for me!"

"You see?" the coyote said.

"Did you talk about me?" Bugs asked.

"A little," Daffy said. "I just mentioned that you got kicked out in the street right after our cancellation in 2004."

Wile E. then asked, "Did you mention your Pixar grudge?"

"Yeah," Daffy answered.

"By the way, I just got an email from Scooby-Doo," the coyote began. "He said that Lisa Judson is leaving Warner Bros. Animation."

"WHAT?!" Daffy was shocked. "She didn't even get to use us in any new productions yet!"

"I know," Bugs frowned. "Dat T-Works site we've heard about for months isn't in service yet, and it's already spring 2008!"

"The new president will merely be the guy in charge of Warner Bros. Television. So I doubt we'd be treated with respect like Lisa Judson promised," Wile E. explained.

Daffy said, "As long as they don't bring back Sander Schwartz to Termite Terrace, we might be fine. Or the Cartoon Network boss takes over!"

"Forget it," the coyote said. "The Cartoon Network boss already hates us."

"You're right," Daffy said. "And I suppose you guys are all aware of Pixar's latest movie coming out?"

" 'Wall-E?'" Bugs asked. "Ha! We couldn't care less. At least it's not a talking animal film, like dat 'Ratatouille' was!"

"I hope this isn't going to be a repeat of the whole 'Ratatouille' ordeal from last year," the coyote said.

Daffy laughed. "Not a chance! Now that I'm in therapy, we might be able to reform! And I still want to thank you for stopping that Pixar assault. I don't know WHAT I was thinking!"

"And I don't know what I was thinking, since I nearly shot Sylvester just because he was messed up from the failure of the attack," Wile E. added. "I want to thank you guys for stopping me from doing something crazy."

"Don't mention it," Daffy said. "I'm definitely mentioning this at my next appointment with Dr. I.C. Spots."

…

Later that week, Daffy was with Isobel again. He was saying, "…and I was kicked out of my house by those corporate idiots at Cartoon Network! I then went to live with Wile E. Coyote, where I still do today."

"So, you're saying this evil boss at Cartoon Network hates you 'toons?" Isobel asked.

"YES!" Daffy said. "He often tosses me out the window of his office. I had to do something. So I got this plan. I find out about a Russian assembly going on at a tractor warehouse not too far from here, so I disguise myself and call up some of the major Cartoon Network stars, including the Kids Next Door, Teen Titans, the cast of 'Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends' and Dexter and Dee-Dee. They all come and think it's a charity performance. But when they found out they were performing for Soviet army members…"

Dr. Spots said, "I thought the Soviet Union broke up many years ago."

"Oh, sorry," Daffy corrected. "Well anyways, when they found out, the cops came and accused the Cartoon Network characters of being Russian comrades! At first, it look like I won, but then the boss found out, and boy, did I get it! And as if that weren't enough, at one point, Dee-Dee wound up framing Bugs Bunny by accident, so Wile E. and I had to bust Bugs out of prison. Then he went to live with us. We were then asked to star in 'Bah, Humduck: A Looney Tunes Christmas.' It was one of my biggest roles to date!"

Isobel began writing something in her clipboard, with the words "DESPARATE TO BE A STAR" being the easiest to make out.

…

The next day, Daffy found Wile E. Coyote holding a large black case. "What's in the case?" Daffy asked.

"It's my new magic kit," Wile E. explained. "I decided to take up performing magic as a hobby. Maybe even earn some money off performances. Merlin the Magic Mouse gave this to me."

"Oh no," Bugs said. "You're not making ME da rabbit in your top hat!"

The coyote laughed. "No, I'll figure out how it works." He opened it up, and said "Wow! Look at this cool stuff."

They checked out what was in the magic kit. There was a trick handcuff, a pocket watch for hypnosis, a rope, a long chain of silk scarves, a black magic wand, a deck of trick cards, the old ball-under-the-shell trick, and even a magician's jacket and top hat.

"Neat!" Daffy said. "But where's the equipment for sawing a lady in half?"

"I'm not ready for that," the coyote explained. "This is for beginners." He then pulled on the black tuxedo jacket and checked out his reflection in the mirror. "This feels really great!" he said. "I'll look more like a professional magician in this for sure." He checked out a trick sleeve meant for hiding things.

Daffy tried on the top hat and asked, "You got a stage name yet?"

"I've been thinking of one," Wile E. said. "How about Wile E. the Magnificent?"

Bugs shook his head. "Eh, too boring."

"How about Coyot-zo?" Daffy asked.

Bugs and Wile E. looked at each other. "Blech!" they said in unison.

"Dat's just horrible!" Bugs said, making a face.

"Sorry," Daffy said sheepishly.

Then Bugs added, "Besides, a bigger concern is dat 'Kung Fu Panda' movie coming out."

"Ugh!" Daffy made a face. "That looks just awful!"

"Worse than 'Ratatouille?'" Wile E. asked.

"No, just as bad!" Daffy complained. "Heck, Wall-E looks actually GOOD compared to that talking-rat crap!"

"I wonder what it'd be like if Pixar had a flop?" Bugs asked.

"In your dreams!" Wile E. said. "I have seen each one be a mega-success. Pixar won't be going anywhere for a while."

"Yeah, but it'd be pretty interesting if that happened…" Daffy said.


	4. Chapter 4: Daffy takes it easy

Chapter Four: Daffy Takes it Easy

NOTE: "Wall-E" is a trademark and copyright of Pixar, a division of Buena Vista International.

Pixar and Disney had just released "Wall-E" into movie theaters. As usual, Bugs and Daffy were not planning to see it. But this morning, when Wile E. read the newspaper stating on the front page that "Wall-E" had opened right at number one in box-office, he got nervous. He knew Daffy was going to have a fit over it. Rather than wait to build the suspense, he figured it was time to face the music. So he entered the den where Daffy Duck was relaxing on the love seat.

"Here… I think you should read this." Wile E. said, managing to get the sentence out of his mouth and handing the paper to the duck.

Daffy read the paper, and Wile E. braced himself for the explosion. After waiting half a minute, he heard Daffy say, "So 'Wall-E' is at top of the box-office. Big deal! Who cares? NOT ME!" The duck tossed the paper back to Wile E.

"I don't care either!" Bugs's voice rang out from the kitchen.

"Huh?" the coyote was confused.

"Yes," Daffy explained. "Dr. Spots has been helping me out in therapy. Besides, this isn't a talking animal movie, and it's not getting wildly over rated like 'Ratatouille' did." He shuddered.

"So that explains why you aren't throwing a fit right now," Wile E. pointed out.

"Right," Daffy said.

The coyote grinned and said, "I guess things are starting to look up for you."

…

Over at the office later that day, Daffy was talking with Isobel again. "…so when 'Ratatouille' won the Oscar, it was the last straw. The Looney Tunes and I, except for Wile E. Coyote, lead a huge assault against Pixar!"

"Oh yeah, I heard about that…" Dr. Spots said. "Didn't you guys get caught?"

"No, Wile E. stopped us," Daffy said. "He prevented us from making a terrible mistake. Even though I will still hate Pixar for many, many years, it was wrong to try and destroy them."

"Atta boy, Daffy." Isobel patted Daffy on the back.

"So assaults against studios like we did are out?" Daffy asked.

"I'm afraid so," Isobel chuckled, "but only here in North America. Well that wraps up this session."

Daffy sighed with relief. "Good thing, too," he said. "I don't know what else to tell you right now!"

…

As Daffy Duck was leaving the building, he didn't notice that a certain small white beagle with black ears and spots, and his little yellow bird friend were watching him.

…

What do these two want with our heroes? Will the Looney Tunes become popular and survive in TV reruns once again? Will Pixar ever have a box-office bomb? Will the Cartoon Network boss achieve his dream and totally eliminate classic programming from his channel? You'll have to wait a little to find out. I apologize this chapter was too short. I am going to loosen up on another project before I come up to Chapter 5 of "Daffy on the Couch!"


	5. Chapter 5: The Big Announcement

Chapter Five: The Big Announcement

NOTE: Sorry for the lack of updates! I was busy with schoolwork and other stuff. But here is my new chapter!

DISCLAIMER: The Peanuts characters are trademarks and properties of United Media.

Wile E. Coyote was drawing up plans of some kind. He had an announcement to make for all the Looney Tunes. As far as recent Looney Tunes DVD sales were going, the latest (and final) DVD set in the Looney Tunes Golden Collection series was having improved sales over the last volume, even though it still wasn't good enough, thanks to Disney releasing one of their direct-to-video movies around this time. Wile E. managed to get a copy the day before, since he was lucky that the nearby stores actually had some in stock, and on sale as well.

Eventually, Daffy Duck came back from his appointment. "Well Wile E.," he began, "Today I told Dr. Spots about my grudge against Bugs."

"That is good," Wile E. said. "But I am assuming you are wondering about these plans?"

"Yeah!" Daffy said. "What are they?"

"I will announce them at our Christmas dinner meeting," the coyote explained. "It's a surprise. Actually, there will be two of them."

"OK."

…

On Christmas day, all the Looney Tunes gathered to the house for Christmas dinner. After gorging on the roast beef, Wile E. tapped his dinner glass and made an announcement.

"Ahem… thank you, one and all, for coming to my dinner meeting. Even some of your lesser folks like Owl Johnson and Cool Cat managed to come. I have TWO very important announcements. There is some good news. I found out from Scooby-Doo, who has recently overheard a board meeting at Cartoon Network, that the people at Cartoon Network are planning on bringing us back to TV!"

The Looney Tunes instantly erupted in cheering and applause!

"FINALLY!" Daffy yelled. "That stupid boss shows some respect!"

"However, the decision is not completely final," Wile E. continued, tapping his dinner glass again. "WB has given Cartoon Network permission to have a Looney Tunes marathon on New Years' Day, to see how well it will perform. If the Nielsen ratings are good, then they will consider bringing Looney Tunes back into regular rotation!"

The other Looney Tunes began cheering again!

"So I want you all to contact your family and your friends, and tell them to tune in to Cartoon Network any time between 7 AM and 8 PM on New Years' Day. We want these ratings strong!"

"Yeah!" Daffy chimed in. "We don't want it to bomb like the latest Looney Tunes Golden Collection sets did, thanks to Pixar's awful Ra…" Bugs clomped the duck's bill shut.

"Here is the other order of business," the coyote announced. "I am planning on building and opening a boardinghouse for us Looney Tunes to live in. That way, we can all live and get along together without any trouble, especially in these rough times we have been going through."

"A BOARDINGHOUSE?" Bugs asked. "Why a boardinghouse? Too practical?"

"You could say that," Wile E. replied. "Plus, money has been tight. I have been doing some artwork painting for a couple of art galleries downtown, and I am going to also have a magic act of sorts to earn some extra cash." He pulled out his magicians' top hat, reached his paw in and yanked out Babs Bunny!

"Hey, I need the extra money too!" Babs said, before Wile E. put her back in the hat, causing her to vanish back to Acme Acres.

Merlin the Magic Mouse applauded. "Very good, my fellow coyote," he said. "I see you have been practicing.

"Yes I have," Wile E. said, blushing.

Now the sound of a familiar choir of kids singing was coming from outside, "ooo-ooooh"ing "Hark the Herald Angels Sing."

"Hey, carolers!" Sylvester said. They all went to the door and found Charlie Brown, Sally Brown, Linus Van Pelt, Lucy Van Pelt, Rerun Van Pelt, Schroeder, Peppermint Patty, Franklin, Marcie, Snoopy and Woodstock all singing together.

"Merry Christmas, Looney Tunes!" the kids all called out in unison.

"Aww, how sweet!" Tweety commented.

"We heard about your rough times," Charlie Brown said. "We want to make your holiday cheerful."

"Thanks," Wile E. said. "How are you dealing with the passing of Bill Melendez?"

"We've pretty much gotten over it by now," Lucy reported. "Right now we care about the true meaning of Christmas."

Snoopy grumbled something, but Wile E. could understand. "Ah, so Snoopy and Woodstock wanted to know where we lived to plan this kind of get-together?"

"That's right," Linus said. "We wanted to bring you 'toons some holiday cheer. And are you also aware that Warner Bros. now owns the rights to our TV specials?"

Daffy sprung up. "That's a good thing," he said. "WB tends to care more about animation than Paramount did!"

"That's great!" Peppermint Patty said. "Well, we must be on our way. We're going to Chuck's house to celebrate the occasion. Merry Christmas!"

The gang walked off, all singing the "Hark the Herald Angels Sing" song.

"So anyways," Wile E. continued, "if we all live in a boardinghouse together, we might be able to get along easier and cooperate. And if WB needs to find a Looney Tune, they'll know where to look."

Daffy thought. "Hmm… I see what you mean." He said. "I think it IS a good idea! Let's do it!"


	6. Chapter 6: PostMarathon

Chapter Six: Post-Marathon

The Looney Tunes marathon on Cartoon Network had come and gone. The ratings turned out to be twice the usual daily ratings that CN got, which was a good thing. But there was no update on CN's future of TV yet.

However, the Annie Awards also came and gone. Wile E. Coyote gasped when he saw the next morning's front headline. It read "KUNG FU PANDA WINS ANNIE AWARD FOR BEST ANIMATED FEATURE."

Wile E. called in Daffy, who ran in looking nervous as if something bad happened.

"What's wrong?" the duck sputtered.

" 'Kung Fu Panda' won the Annie Award for Outstanding Achievement in an Animated Feature Production."

"So what?! Even though a CGI talking-animal movie won it yet again, at least it wasn't a Pixar film!" Daffy said. But then he stopped and gave a shocked look. "Bugs is gonna hurt himself again!"

"You're right," Wile E. said. "We'd better break the news to him now."

…

The two went into the bathroom just as Bugs was brushing his teeth. "We have some bad news," Daffy said, sounding grim.

"Now what is it?" Bugs asked. "Did someone we know die?"

"No… but 'Kung Fu Panda' won the Annie Award for Best Animated Film." Wile E. said. Both he and the duck covered their eyes, waiting for it to happen.

"WHAT?!" Bugs shouted out. "I thought you were gonna say dat Porky Pig died, or Warner Bros. Animation went out of business, or Jerry Beck decided to cancel all future video releases of our classics! But NO! A CGI funny-animal film wins de Annie. BIG DEAL!"

"Sorry," Daffy said sheepishly.

"And you know we're NEVER gonna get an Annie Award," Bugs added. "Da people there must not like us."

"Look," the coyote said, "I want to get back to working on the boarding house. The ground-breaking is this afternoon."

…

A few days later, Daffy was at the office of Dr. I.C. Spots again.

"So 'Kung Fu Panda' won the Annie Awards, and Pixar's record has been broken for now," Daffy said, "and now it looks like us Looney Tunes will NEVER gain an Annie Award at this rate!"

"I've heard you say that before, and the whole 'Nemo' incident," Dr. Spots said.

"Right," Daffy said. "You know, I don't know what else to say… I've already told you about the marathon and the boarding house."

"Well, the session is over anyways," Isobel said. "We can talk again on Friday."

"Thanks!" Daffy said.

(I apologize for the short chapter, cause I have schoolwork, and I am working on other projects. But the LOONEY TUNES WILL LIVE!)


	7. Chapter 7: A Revival?

Chapter Seven: A Revival?

NOTE: I apologize for the lack of updates, as I was busy with schoolwork among other things.

The boardinghouse construction was already under way. It was going to be connected right to Wile E. Coyote's house for added comfort to some of the 'toons.

During this time, "Wall-E" has won the Oscar for Best Animated Feature. Wile E. Coyote figured he should get it over with once he found out the news. But did Daffy Duck care?

"No!" Daffy yelled. "I don't care about that at all! And besides, all of Wall-E's competition this year was crap!"

"Dat's right," Bugs added. "The other two films it was pitted against were CGI talking animal movies."

"But what about the 'Ratatouille' incident?" Daffy said.

Wile E. groaned. "You STILL haven't gotten over it?!" he asked.

"But this is why they canceled all the future Looney Tunes DVD releases!" Daffy whined.

"No, only partly the reason," Wile E. said. "The economy problems our country are suffering through right now, plus the limited selection of cartoons contributed greatly."

…

And as if that weren't enough, a similar thing happened again when Pixar's "Up" was released around May…

"So what if it hit Number One at box-office?" Daffy asked, a hint of bitterness in his voice. "Pixar always makes it big, while practically every other animated film not made by Disney's in-house studio, or DreamWorks or Blue Sky FAILS!"

"What about da Simpsons movie?" Bugs asked.

"That was an exception," Wile E. Coyote said. "It was based off an existing popular TV series (though it's popularity is sinking now as we speak), and the Simpsons was long overdue for a movie since 1991!"

…

By August, the boardinghouse was pretty much halfway done, and was expected to open around November.

Meanwhile, Daffy Duck had received word from someone that Warner Bros. Animation was planning a new Looney Tunes TV series. Of course, Daffy had to blab to his friends…

…

"A NEW TV SERIES STARRING US?" Bugs asked in an excited tone.

"YES!" Daffy claimed. "We're finally gonna be popular again!"

Bugs and Daffy began gleefully dancing with each other in circles. "We're gonna be on TV! We're gonna be on TV!" they sang.

Wile E. Coyote warned them, "Now, don't get your hopes up you two."

"But look on the bright side!" Daffy said. "This might lead into a Looney Tunes renaissance!"

"Daffy, do you remember when you said that when they were preparing those new theatrical shorts we were to star in back in 2003?" Wile E. Coyote asked. "Remember how bad they were, and how 'Looney Tunes: Back in Action' bombed miserably at box-office?'"

"Well Sander Schwartz was in charge of those horrible cartoons," Daffy explained. "And they released our film at a bad time. Now that Schwartz is gone, our cartoons might be better!"

"We'll see when the time comes," Wile E. said.

…

Daffy Duck snuck back to the Cartoon Network office, and managed to make it into the boss's office.

"Not again…" the evil boss groaned, his face still hidden behind the shadows. "What is it now?"

"Hey, I think if you put my classic films back on TV, your channels will get better ratings than the mediocre ones they're getting now!" Daffy proclaimed.

"No comment," the boss said.

"But ever since 2004, your channel has begun to fail! And I think it was when you canceled the Looney Tunes!"

"Enough!" The boss once again threw Daffy Duck out the window, the glass shattering as he went through.

Once Daffy Duck landed on the ground, he was dazed, until he heard…

"Dexter's a cookie!"

"Huh?" Daffy asked.

"Dexter's a cookie!" A green mechanical parrot was right next to the duck.

"Not again!" Dexter said, running in. "Ever since I fixed up this parrot, it's been doing nothing but giving me trouble!"

"I'm gonna bop you, a cup of cinnamon!" the parrot chirped.

"Never mind." Daffy walked off.

…

Weeks and weeks later, things still looked dreary. But then, Daffy Duck was awaken one morning by a telephone call. He answered it.

"Hello? … Yes, this is him speaking. Uh-huh…" Suddenly, he perked up. "No way! Really? … That's GREAT! Woo-hoo! Thanks!" and hung up. He got out a gigantic megaphone and yelled, "BUGS! WILE E.! OUR CLASSIC SHORTS ARE GONNA BE BACK ON TV!"

The two 'toons came running down. "For once, waking us up rudely was for a GOOD reason, duck!" Bugs said.

"And the marathon is set to premiere once the boarding house opens. Perfect timing!"

The three 'toons laughed and hugged each other.

THAT'S ALL, FOLKS! (For REAL, this time!)

Well, that's it for my "Hard Times for Daffy" saga. You may expect to see new stories starring the Looney Tunes characters come up, though!


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